WTFSNFW?/Episode 1: Hurricane Transcripts
Ian: Welcome to WTFSNFW, the series of self-loathing. I am one of your hosts, my name is Ian. Today we're talking hurricane transcripts, a minor epidemic that spread across the wiki in circa 2013. Hurricane Bubbles Lyrick > Nicole: "Bubbles Lyrick was acting like a hurricane by lacerating people, murdering people, destroying devices, and leaving houses in Honolulu without power." Ian: Was he spinning around like a top? Also, how old is Bubbles, two? > Thomas: "Bubbles, stop!" Bubbles: "Shut up!" Ian: You hear that, folks? When someone tells you off for trying to kill people, just tell them to shut up. It worked for Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold! > psychiatric, Dr. Glenn Winston is present Ian: It's kinda bad that Bubbles has a psychiatrist at the age where he should be watching BillionSurpriseToys. > Judge: "Order in the court, people." Judge: "Has the jury read its verdict." Ian: Top 10 Shortest Trials: Number 1 Jury: We have your honor, we find the defendant guilty for first degree murder, destruction of property and assault. And by law, must face the death penalty." Reicheru: “Holy fucking shit, the death penalty for a damned brat, Yaaayyyyyy.....” Hurricane Bedrich Family Vigintuplets Nicole: "The Bedrich Family vigintuplets were acting like hurricanes leaving houses without power, lacerating people, destroying a ton of electronic equipment and murdering about 20 people." Ian: Did they cut the power wires? Wouldn't they have gotten electrocuted at some point? Reicheru: This is the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard about a 3-year old. Sophie: I think it was for the better that this article didn't get any attention at all. Ian: That was literally the whole article. Hurricane Frank Spotlow-Garbiel >Frank left a total of 186 houses without power, destroyed a total of 541 devices, lacerated 41 people, and killed 21 of these people.< Sophie: "Ahhh, yes, the transcript that started this hurricane craze on the site. If Frank's a 5-year-old, then this would never happen. The defenders would probably chase him away, if anything." >courtroom runs out of power because of Frank< Sophie: "How can Frank leave the courtroom without power?" >Judge: "You are hereby scentenced to 3 years in penitentiary! Bailiff, take him away!"< >late, Frank lacerates the bailiff< Sophie: "Where the hell did he get a knife?" >Judge: "Now, 4 years in penitentiary!"< >removes Frank from the courtroom< >releases himself from the judge and punches him in the stomach< >Judge: "Right! 5 years in the penitentiary!"< Sophie: "I suppose either Frank has the strength of a lion, or the judge has a loose grasp. In all seriousness, though, this is beyond unrealistic." >sets the judge on fire< >Frank: "DIE JUDGE, DIE!"< Sophie: "See? Beyond unrealistic." >Officers: "For setting the judge on fire, you will serve 6 years to life in the penitentiary! Isolation!"< >Bridget: (sighs) "Just give him the death penalty by lethal injection, your honor. Just to be safe so that he shall not harm a single soul again. I suggest use the taser if he continues to resist."< Sophie: "Not again...Frank's 5 years old." Category:WTFSNFW? Episodes Category:Episodes